Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
we should paint friendship bongs
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