Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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