Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
