i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
