Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
