Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Boobs are out for the taking
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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