So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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