Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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