Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
