She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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