I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
