Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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