She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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