508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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