butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
