Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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