Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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