Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
