I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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