I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
