I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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