hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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