I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
