I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I touched a dick in church today
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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