yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
