so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
