Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need help removing her.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
