and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
