And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
