maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
