Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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