i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's blow job season.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
