Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
