I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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