You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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