I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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