Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
