i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
