How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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