Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
