I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
