I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
