ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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