i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
