we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
