i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
