i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
