there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
