i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
