I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
