My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sober January is a disaster.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
