their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
