the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
