i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
